"Behind every success stands a person who gave you the boost you needed"
My holidays thus far has not been a holiday, neither will it become like holidays. Everyday I'm busy with something but they're productive things and I chose to do it. Well, probably I sacrificed my recovery time but on the account that I gained some new insights.
Hmm, so it has finally come unto me. I'm finally thinking twice about taking Medicine and I'm actually quite surprised by this sudden realisation. This isn't all that bad after all, because the final decision I will be making in a year's time and things I say during my interview would be more well thought through, better decided and most importantly, speak of who I really am. 6 really long years, getting myself screwed upside down by surgeons, mugging like hell while my counterparts are having their semesteral breaks, etc. And then in the end they earn 2x as much as I do when they join the workforce. Money doesn't really matter, but I'm told that it does, just that I haven't come to realisation. Like me not realising what medicine REALLY is about until quite recently, or at least I think I realised it.
Do I really know what I'm in for?
Do I want to do this for the rest of my life?
Will I be happy with extremely irregular work hours?
Who am I?
Why the hell do I want to take Medicine?
And the most basic question, yet the most important question of all,
What do I really want?
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I would be better off worrying about A levels first.
I know some of the answers myself. But you know, it's really difficult to put them into words. Try out the last question and you'll know what I mean. Actually I don't exactly know what made me falter with my decision, but I think it's because I saw the really lousy side of it. Haha, come on, which career doesn't have its weak points? Brrr.
On the other hand, I think Band practices are getting really great. The breathing and theatre exercises had tremendously (and unconsciously) helped us to improve ourselves. Our pieces are finally sounding good! Yay! Still need to take care of a lot of minor details but I'm sure we'll be able to do it. We gotta sound fantastic by 18 April so we'll be able to put up a good show during the exchange. Yup.
To end off this post, I'll quote some things from The Power of Now:
All those things, of course, will still pass away, cycles will come and go, but with dependency gone there is no fear of loss anymore. Life flows with ease.
Wake up. Get out of your mind. Be present.
Forgive yourself... The moment you completely accept your non-peace, your non-peace becomes transmuted into peace. Anything you accept fully will get you there, will take you into peace. This is the miracle of surrender.
Focus your attention on the Now and tell me what problem you have at this moment... I am not getting any answer because if is impossible to have a problem when your attention is fully in the Now.
When you accept what is, every piece of meat - every moment - is the best. That is enlightenment.
Be the peace you are,
Sean
